The hope of being found.

It’s been a really hard week. Sarah’s computer died a terrible death, which cuts down on communication even more. Much of the time that I spent with people was with happy couples living together, or just getting together, or other adorableness that makes me a little crazy right now. (This is very par for the course at a Div. School, but sometimes I feel it worse than others.) I’ve made some moves to get to a better living situation for me, one where I get to have the space and time I need to focus and get this last year of work done.

WARNING: TANGENT NOT AT ALL RELATED TO ANYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE VERY REAL SCARY THING GOING ON HERE AT YALE, MAINLY JUST A THOUGHT: There are lots of people who physically or emotionally missing here at Yale these days, as I’m sure you have heard from the news. (Well, maybe just the one physically missing one.)

It makes one wonder about these undertakings students get themselves into. These are people who are passionately driven by their desire to study and work, so much so that they often forget to take care of themselves, even to eat in some cases. There’s something not surprising about someone vanishing in the midst of us, which feels very dark, and scary. In the cold of the winter, you lose something to the work and the books and the deep feeling that you are not getting to where you want to get to. And so, you start to feel like you might vanish a little. (It’s very “Master and Margarita.”) So, in case anyone ever asks, “Why YDS?” The answer is this: nowhere else do people insist that they SEE you, and HOLD ON TO YOU, even if they don’t know you very well at all. Nowhere else I’ve been can a guy like me be literally existing from hug to hug, even as the one who I love most is thousands of miles away. These folks vehemently refuse to let people vanish, and so I’m proud to hang out with them.

BACK TO REAL LIFE: We’re all doing ridiculous amounts of praying for finding Annie. I might be the only one praying for the editors of the New York Daily News to be hit with something heavy for allowing a false story about her body being found to print without verification (IT WASN’T). Way to torment people already in torment, fellas. You’re a real class act. Ceiling Cat sees you.

Leave a Reply