On April 2nd, I started a three month sabbatical from ministry… something that we try to have be a “norm” in UCC churches… it still doesn’t come easily. (Jesus also, famously, failed at this, which is reassuring.) Sabbatical started out looking like this.
When you first start doing nothing, there’s a decent amount of your brain shouting at you that you should really be doing something — something really important… but that you can’t name. It’s a strange thing in our very busy world to stop.
Now, ministry absolutely goes beyond what can be quantified… but while sitting and staring into space today wondering why I might be tired, I let my heart try and talk to my brain in language it could understand. So, since I last took a sabbatical, I have…
- Written and preached 286 Sunday sermons, roughly. As many as 12 felt easy. All felt worth it anyway, as far as I can remember.
- Adapted 58 Sundays to worshipping at a distance because:
- Navigated 1 pandemic (you know, with society.)
- Welcomed 18 kids and 1 adult into the church through baptism.
- Blessed 38 young adults on their confirmations.
- Bore witness to vows for 18 couples.
- Commended to God 41 people upon their deaths.
Also, we got married, moved three times, picked up two absolutely nutty dogs.
And well, the 42nd person commended to God was our daughter. And then, the 19th kiddo baptized and welcomed into life was also our daughter. (Thankfully, I wasn’t responsible for either of those events, pastorally… and I serve with a beloved community that could hold those two facts at almost the same time.)
Those numbers don’t actually tell the story of a life, but today they help me understand that it is OK to be tired: in heart, in head, in spirit… and to rest. Also, they can hint at the scale and scope of looking for God in—of paying attention to—a community, and that attention is hard and important work.
Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity…
Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace
…taken to its highest degree, [attention] is the same thing as prayer. It presupposes faith and love…
Listening, Looking, and More
There’s an eclipse today. I don’t know if you’ve heard.
I do miss work when I’m away. So here is Trinity Wall Street’s compline choir singing everyone’s (and my) favorite line from evening prayer: